After wrecking my brain thinking about the whole situation with Dan I’ve finally come to the conclusion that I am very stupid like seriously retarded I just let him walk out of my life without fighting, I mean come on I really didn’t think it through did I my baby boy needs a father in his life and I’m going to get him back I’m not saying ill start going crazy and do whatever comes to mind without thinking that’s the kind of thing that serial killers do I’m not the type… yet! Now all I’ve got to do is think of a way I’m going to pull this off without being hurt even more than I already am at this moment but if I don’t try I will never know right?
I really should think about the fact that he has moved on but seriously I’m carrying his baby in my belly and it’s not an easy job he owes me at least a conversation to try and make things right, and even that wouldn’t compare to the backache, chest pains and not to mention the big bump in front of me which is kind of,, VERY hard to hide so I’m going to call him.
Ring RING RING!!!! Thump THUMP THUMP!!! I feel like I’m in a horror movie it’s like someone is about to come round the corner and chop my head off but they are holding me in suspense. My heart is just pumping faster and harder now I swear I can actually hear it beat. He answered but he didn’t say anything he must have recognized the number or maybe he didn’t delete it in the first place. “hey Dan, I just wanted to speak to you about the baby could we meet up tomorrow” yeah I know I shouldn’t use the baby as an excuse but that’s the only thing I’ve got right now that could possibly help me “OK” he replied “I’ll meet you at your place around 4” then he just hung up the phone I mean how rude can he be but he agreed guess he has every right to be mad at me fingers crossed everything will go well tomorrow I wonder if I should cook or something what do those girls usually do in the movies I think I might pull a Sex and the City stunt on him see if that works there must be something that movies are good for tomorrow will be a big day for me and you son I can’t wait!
Its 3 o’clock and I’m so nervous I really have no clue what I’m going to say to him I thought I would know but this isn’t something small this is getting my family together do what’s right for me and the baby. I’m going to make us a nice meal courtesy of Chung’s Restaurant of course come on I’m trying to win him back not drive him further away with my horrible cooking skills I’m not risking it takeout it is he won’t have to know ill burn the evidence before hand.
It’s now 4:05 the food is shared on the table with a glass of wine and orange juice for me of course no light music though that’s just a little bit too much. He is 5 minutes late but that’s just how he usually is he likes to be dramatic I’m used to it by now. All this waiting is making me nervous right now my heart is beating so hard and I guess my boy is nervous too because he keeps kicking me think I have the next David Beckham hatching in my stomach. Oh god a car just parked outside my house and I think it’s him, oh yup it’s him his dark blue Vauxhall Corsa. As he walked up to the door I was already there waiting for him so I could open the door then I realized I’m looking a bit too desperate so I waiting a few more seconds after he knocked for me to open the door. “Hey Dan…..”
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