Diary Entry - April 13th 2010 (Continued...)

Nothing came from his mouth, it was just pure silence I wanted him to say something anything what could he really be think right now, I can’t even hear him breathe and my heart is pumping faster and faster I just want him to say something "hello" I said anxiously waiting for a reply "I’m going to call you back" he said and hung up the phone without even a second thought. So much was running through my mind at this point is he going to call back? Is he going to change his number? I do not know what he is going to do it not like I know him I have no idea how he reacts to things which scares me even more the thought that I will be alone through all of this.

my phone started to vibrate it was a text message from Dan it said 'It's not mine leave me alone' those words pierced through my heart how could he say that, I couldn’t stop the tears from falling he had hurt me in the worse possible way he’s denying his baby and he is basically titling me as a whore. On one hand I really don’t blame him for feeling that way we did sleep together the first night we met but on the other hand he doesn’t know how that night made me feel. so what am I going to do I’m a now in the category of a single mother and I have no idea if I want to keep this child or not I thought he could help me with this decision but now that he is out of the picture what do I do now.

Well since I wasn’t going to get any kind of support from Dan I figured it was time to let my parents know I made my way into the kitchen and cooked up some of their favorite foods chicken, mash, rice and some Irish puddings. just as I was about to turn off the stove my mom stepped in she had a puzzled look on her face and I knew exactly what she was thinking 'what has she done' but she didn’t say a word she just said hello and marched up to her room to get out of her work cloths my dad wasn’t behind her so I guess he’s working late tonight.

I decided to share the dinner out anyway so me and my mom can do some bonding, we sat down around the table just as I was about to take a bite my dad walked in he’s is very greedy by the way so as soon as he smelt the food he made his way into the kitchen to get his share and took a seat right next to me. the dinner wasn’t how I expected it to be the food was banging but everyone was quiet, I knew they had something on their minds mom was looking at dad and he was looking back I knew they wanted to say something but I had to make the first move get straight to the point "I know you guys must have your suspicions as to why I have done this, yes I do have something to tell you guys and I’m not going to beat around the bush, well not too much I have got myself into a bit  of trouble..." as soon as I said that my mom dropped her fork and started crying "what is it mom" I asked her "I know what you’re going to say, your pregnant aren’t you" ok so it’s either my mom is physic or she’s been spying on me "how did you know" I asked, she said "I could tell by the look in your eyes" BULLSHIT I thought but I didn’t want to start an argument so I just nodded my head she started crying and went outside for a fag my dad joined her I guess he wanted to calm her down.

after about an hour of waiting and biting off my nails they came back it my mom wasn’t crying anymore she came over to me and hugged me, she said "no matter what you decide to do we will be there for you" that was very shocking didn’t expect that sort of reaction at all I thought the house would be smashed into pieces by now but they kept their calm dad didn’t look too happy though he just went straight to bed after that but at least that’s done my parents know so all that’s left to do is make the decision.....