Everyday it’s a new thing, everyday your life changes either for the better or the worse but it can never be the same one day my life is going great no problems, next day I find out I’m pregnant, I’m going to be a mother, a life is growing inside me I’m in control of someone else’s life do I chose to kill it, keep it or give it away either way my life will still be affected nothing can make this any better it’s a wound that cannot be healed. I still haven’t told anyone who the dad is yet I haven’t even told the dad, I mean what do I say “oh hello I haven’t spoken to you in a while but uhm, I’m pregnant and it’s your baby catch you later” there is no good way to put this. What is he going to say, what if he doesn’t want to know, he might not even believe me might think I’m playing an April's fool joke on him, I don’t know if I can take that sort of stress right now I have enough to think about rather than worrying about him.
How do I tell my parents they will be so gutted they've always wanted the best for me better than they have/had they had me when they were teenagers too so they should be able to understand a little but I know they would be so hurt by this, they had to give up their freedom for me, their education and stupid me I repay them by doing this I guess it’s some sort of cycle and I have the choice to stop it or carry it on, what if I curse my child to the same outcome oh god this is hard. It’s so damn easy to lay there and take it but it gets difficult when all those years of mother daughter sex talk goes out the window what a waste.
I’m trying to think of everything that happened that night including the glory details, I have to figure out how this happened, I was so sure we used a condom but then again he was drunk and I was semi-high, I remember him rubbing on me gently, he kissed my neck as he held me tight against his chest, he was so sweet. Ok I gotta focus and stop reminiscing it was half way through and he was about to finish when the condom broke and he took it off and just carried on BINGO!!! There’s the jackpot the stupidity that lead me here damn.
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